Promises, Schmomises…

 

I promised my friend, Patti, that I would be a regular blogger if she would.  I’m not sure if she has had a chance to blog more regularly seeing that she has been super busy, but I haven’t.  Sorry.  I’ve been composing posts in my head all summer long but didn’t want to post because they might have seemed too heavy and deep for my “silly little blog”.  I’m putting you on notice dear blog reader that I am going to blog more frequently about all sorts of mother/friend/knitter/dancer/dieting/unemployment related things.  If I get too “deep”, send up a flare.  Okay?

So here’s the thing.  This past spring, I voluntarily left my job of eight years.  Crazy right?  You betcha.  There were some very compelling reasons to do so, my health and my husband would say my sanity being the top two.  I don’t regret leaving the job, but as the school buses roll and my second child begins college today, I really wish I had some income.

I have some resumes out in the world and have been hired by four school districts as a substitute teacher but that still leaves a lot of $$$$$ to try to make up and a lot of time on my hands.  I am a person who needs imposed discipline, someone or something to tell me what to do and when to do it.  I am simply too distracted by things I see, hear or read to stay very focused otherwise so all this free time has been brutal.  However, this week I realized that I am responsible for how my time is spent and if all the stars align correctly I could go back to work at any moment so I have begun to impose discipline on my seemingly endless days.

I do this in a couple of ways:

1. Technology for the undisciplined is not a friend.  The television, the computer even my cell phone are all distractions that keep me from moving forward in any meaningful way AND provide an electronic numbing effect.  So, once I finish writing this, the computer will go off and I will be on my way.

2. If I see clutter,my brain feels cluttered and I feel unfocused.  I admit it.  My house is often messy!  Not as bad as those on the television I no longer watch, but it has its catchall corners and moments of chaos.  I live in a modest size home with four other people, two long-haired dogs and two short-haired cats who seem to walk in their own fur aura .  In order to feel focused in such cramped quarters, I have grown to appreciate the joy of the purge.  For those of you who are gasping for air and clutching the chairs at the thought of my filling landfills with square footage of junk, worry not.  My community has a top notch recycling program and I donate anything I can.  What’s left over, I admit, may be saved in my office to eventually be re-purposed in to something that is more meaningful to my family but there are still many things here that just must go.

3. Finally, I realized that as someone sitting at home, I have an obligation to look upon my universe of busy people and use my time to try to be helpful.  I received some assistance in this effort when my son’s car died a smoky and leaky death a couple of days ago.  I am now, as I once was, the designated driver for my family until we have the chance to replace his car.

There have been many emotions and emotional moments over this summer of my unemployment.  I have struggled with feeling I should jump into some job, any job but overall I am glad that I didn’t.  I have learned many things about myself this summer that I think will eventually make me a top notch employee and in the interim have allowed me to connect with my family and friends.

It is a beautiful morning here in Maine on this first day of September.  I hope wherever you are, you are appreciating the gift of this new day.  I have to get off the computer now because I have to drive my son to school.  Have a good one!

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